Ok, so firstly – we of course need to congratulate Ms Moore (62) on her Golden Globe – well done, great work. Maybe not as great as the work she is doing on preserving her youthful appearance though and this rankles me. Cosmetic surgery is controversial so I know I’m not alone here and I also know that there is sizeable chunk of the population who will offer a ‘live and let live’ retort. I do feel though that this is really too important a matter to adopt such an insipid approach over.
However, before I express my concerns I also have to do a deep dive into honesty. Would I, in a ‘money’s no object’ scenario, hot foot it down to my nearest plastic surgeon for a skilful nip, tuck and fill? Not dwelling on the procedure itself and the recovery process, it could be tempting – but why? Well, because in our society, for women especially, youthful beauty is venerated, and aging is scorned. And who doesn’t want to be venerated? But venerated for what? For my looks? Um, how about for my wit, my charm, my wisdom and modesty?! I jest but really, what about these inner qualities? Do we truly not value them? Unlike the carefully crafted cheek bones, these are enduring after all.
It’s interesting that the character Demi plays in her award-winning role in The Substance is a woman who births a terrifyingly selfish version of herself through an illegal drug who then kills her. A distorted circle of life that she is desperate to reverse, due to society's own twisted ideas of worth as a woman. The satire couldn’t be clearer! However, perhaps the film itself serves a useful purpose in highlighting society's unreasonable beauty standards for women. It’s also a vital reminder that focusing our energy on resisting aging will only end in despair because ageing is an inevitable part of living.
Rejecting the aging process somehow feels like we are swimming against the tide, and swimming against the tide is both futile and exhausting. And then there is the message that those beautifully preserved women are sending out, ‘I look like this because it’s not acceptable to look like you’, and ‘of course, it’s all about the looks!’ This is a hard enough message to receive when you have reached the age where youthful beauty is dropping (quite literally!) away but what about our young women?
In my therapy practice, when I hear 15 year old’s placing great worth on the ability to look good for their Instagram photos, I know that we have a long road to travel. The upside of course is that they are seeing me because there is something compelling them to travel that road. That, despite succumbing to this superficiality, there remains an inner voice letting them know that there is more to them than this and, whilst that’s making itself heard, there’s hope. These courageous girls are sadly in the minority though and, whilst we, as a society, continue to worship at the altar of youth, this will continue to be the case – with I fear, tragic consequences.
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